A young, frail-bodied boy wanders down the alley, lost, confused, hurt. He has nowhere to go. He has no one to turn to. He doesn't know who is going to provide his next meal. All he can do is hope. And yet hope itself is such a fragile thing, don't you know? It can be something that can rally the hearts of billions of people to a cause, and it can also be that something that breaks your heart.

What is the point in holding on to the disappearing memories desperately now, only to have them gone later? Is there a need to forget? Is there a want to forget? Is there? Is there?

So what if I can remember her face? Its only for now, isn't it? So what if I can remember the time we spent together alone? It hurts so bad sometimes. Sore. Angst. Despair? Perhaps.

If I could go back in time, would I want to meet her? I really don't know, I just don't. Why would I want something that only brings up sadness in my mind, doubt that clouds my thoughts, memories that suppress everything until I become empty. But... I know I will. I would do it again, even if the outcome will still be the same. Life is worth living for the things or the people you hold dear to your heart, and, she will be one of these people. If I could do it all again, I won't change anything, nothing at all. Just meeting her itself was worth it, and the memories to preserve her in my mind, I should be contented with them.

Now that I think of it, is there a purpose in being sad about this? The only reason I know her so well out of so many others is her kindness. If she never helped me then, who know who I'd be now? Encouragement, they say, is really important. Sometimes, just a simple 'Thank You' at the right moment can improve your relationship with someone by leaps and bounds.

I know she wouldn't want me to be sad, and I wouldn't want her to feel the way I do. Its just not fair, her being so much stronger in character, heart and mind. How is it that one stays optimistic through these kind of troubles? Yet she was never who falters, she was always the stronger one of the two, encouraging, cheering up the other.

Why is it that I cannot think of her and be happy? She has done so much for me, changed the foundation of my attitude towards things, helped me become a better person. Is it something that I should be ashamed of? Sad of? Angry of?

I wish I could see her again, perhaps for a minute, maybe an hour, as long as possible. Her reassuring voice, her gentle smile, the memories and scenes come back as clear as if they happened yesterday. Yet I am scared, so fearful, that she'll be gone one day, from my mind, forever than ever. Is this obsession? Is this what I should be worrying about in such a time? Probably not.

Maybe some things just aren't meant to be.